I threw chicken thighs out the back door yesterday.
Yep. There they are. You can even see where they hit and slid a couple feet further.
Call me crazy.
But I did it.
Grief makes you do funny things. Weird things. Sometimes it makes you feel like you should be put in a straight jacket. You never really know what is going to put you over the edge. Or when something is going to put you over the edge. And for me, yesterday, it just so happened to be...
I should have known about a week ago when I picked "Lemongrass Chicken" that it was going to be a disastrous idea. I don't even know what lemongrass is. I Googled a picture of it while I stood, lost, in the produce section, and I still couldn't find it. Frustrated, I left the store. I made a few other attempts, and never found what I was looking for.
So I have this package of 12 chicken thighs sitting in my refrigerator, and I have no idea what to do with them. I'm really showing my true colors here that I am not experienced in the kitchen. I'm not one of those who is gifted with picking up spices and making things up. I have to follow a recipe, and I get nervous if I measure something even the tiniest granule off.
So I went back to one of my best friends - Google. I asked her for some "chicken thigh recipes" and she told me about a teriyaki chicken recipe that sounded pretty good and easy. Keep in mind on the timeline here, these chicken thighs have been in my fridge about 3 or 4 days now. I don't know the shelf life of these babies, and I want to get them cooked before they enter our prison, aka the freezer. Once something goes in there.... it typically doesn't come out. *dun dun dun*
So yesterday I had the perfect window of time and thought I would June Cleaver my way through the kitchen. Before I even began, I realized I didn't have all the ingredients. Slightly frustrated I made a quick run to the store and pep talked myself back into a good mood as I arrived back home. Alright, let's do this. These chicken thighs are gonna be good! You have all your ingredients. You're set. Easy peasy from here. WRONG. I am so not June Cleaver. One of the ingredients must have fallen in my blind spot. I still didn't have all I needed....
All I could do was throw my hat on the ground, crawl in my bed and pout.
At first, I was angry with myself. How could I overlook something so simple? And then I realized...
I was angry that my mom isn't here.
This is one of those times when a girl needs her momma. Had she been here, I would have still been irritated, but I would have called her and explained the whole story. I would have said in my own frustrated, pouty tone, "Mom, what the heck can I do with these chicken thighs? Please help me." And she would have told me exactly what to do.
But she's not here. I can't call her. And the last thing I want to do is call someone else. No one else can fix this dilemma. Only Mom can do that.
I want my mom.
So it seemed like to me, since I couldn't call Mom, the next best thing to do was to get those cursed chicken thighs as far away from me as possible. I didn't want to be under the same roof as them. "You know what I want to do right now?" I said to David. I threw off the covers, put my feet on the ground, stomped into the kitchen, grabbed the chicken thighs, and
And it felt good. I really wanted to throw them over the fence. I wanted to open up the package and throw them one-by-one as far as I could. But I maintained my sanity by a hair, and settled with throwing the package only a few feet. But it still felt good. And thankfully, David still loves me. And God still loves me.
FREEDOM. A word my dear friend, and a woman I look up to, has spoken over me the past couple of months. And what a beautiful word it is. I've definitely taken it to heart, trusting that my God remembers that I am but dust (Psalm 103:14) - and if I want to throw chicken thighs out the back door, He still loves me.
I can't believe chicken thighs are what did it to me. But it's so true, you never know what or when something will put you over the edge. But something will. At some point.
And for me it just so happened to be chicken thighs.
"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."
That's a good place for chicken thighs, breasts are the best. It's okay, and one day you will laugh about those chicken thighs.ReplyDelete
So true. I actually laughed a few moments after I threw them. I was somehow laughing and crying at the same time - making me feel a little more crazy. But it still felt so good :)Delete
Girl, just for you I'm gonna "shot put" obo squash!! It's green, tasteless, and who wants it anyways???ReplyDelete
Ha, I have no idea what obo squash is, but it definitely sounds "throwable" :)Delete
throw what you have to... whatever brings comfort for your soul.ReplyDelete
I'll throw some chicken thighs FOR you today.
Haha, thanks Rebecca. Somehow throwing things feel so liberating :)Delete
Jordan, be kind to yourself. You have lost your best friend and Mum (in one person) and you are going to feel adrift for a while. But that is ok, it is normal and you are allowed to have chicken thigh throwing fits whenever the moment calls for it :)ReplyDelete
I hate chopping chicken thighs. Last week I went to my butcher and said 'Lazy Mum presenting for duty' and asked for them to dice 2lbs of chicken thighs for me. They did, I followed a packet mix and added the mix, water, bacon and potato to the thighs, cooked them in a slower cooker for 4 hours and the result was YUMMO!!
Thank you for sharing your journey.
Thank you :) I actually redeemed the chicken thighs last night and they turned out pretty good!Delete
And thank you for your encouragement!
My Mom has been gone for nearly 8 years now and its the little things that will push you over the edge. It gets easier in that its not as painful but still reading your post made me just want to cry cause I so know what you are going through. No ONE but Mom can comfort so ... cry and throw chicken or anything else out the door you need to ... praying for you.ReplyDelete
Thank you for your prayers!ReplyDelete