Monday, May 12, 2014

Weekend in Review

My weekend got off to an interesting start with a cancelled flight, getting completely locked out of my house, delayed flights and finally making it to Abilene over 24-hours later. Whew!

It was such a blessed weekend and I am so thankful for the opportunity to have been able to go. I first want to say THANK YOU to Pam and Kevin for inviting me and providing a way for me to come!

Pam and Kevin were my Mom's youth pastor and wife while she grew up in Abilene, and now Kevin is the head pastor at the church there. How cool that they have been at the same church for about 35 years! I really don't know that I can say thank you enough for the blessing they gave me this weekend to be able to spend Mother's Day with my Mawmaw.

Pam called me about a month and half ago and invited to me to attend a brunch she was putting on at the church. She didn't know all the details at the time, but she knew the theme would be about JOY. The brunch was this past Saturday, and as I arrived to the church I felt like Satan was working overtime on me - trying to steal all hope and any ounce of rejoicing from me. I was stuck in a very "woe is me" attitude, and I simply felt like crumbling to the ground and giving up and walking away. It took everything in me and the Lord's grace to sustain me at that time. I was so completely weak. Looking back now, I know Satan wanted to steal from me. He wanted to steal a time of fellowship and a time of reflecting on God's faithfulness and joy. It ended up being such a blessing to hear different testimonies about how the Lord has been faithful through different trials and has consistently provided joy in such broken places. I also had the opportunity to lead a couple songs in a time of praise and worship - which that in itself was another blessing because I had no choice but to proclaim to myself and to the Lord truth about who He is and what He has done in my life.

Once the brunch was over, I had a jam-packed day ahead of me! I went to the hospital for a couple hours to see my sweet Mawmaw. She has been in the hospital for over 30 days now with pneumonia and congestive heart failure. Thankfully she is making progress and should hopefully be moving to a rehab facility soon.

Me and Mawmaw. Love that I got to be with her on
Mother's Day this year!

I then had the chance to go visit with my Dad's parents and really enjoyed getting to visit with them for a little while. It was a very sweet time together! I wish I would have gotten a picture with them! After that, I went with my Aunt Traci to get a pedicure, and it was some much-needed relaxing and pampering girl time. Thanks Aunt Traci for a great time! And now my toes look oh-so-good for the beach!

I then got dinner with my aunt and two uncles and then we headed back to the hospital for a little bit and then hit the sack!

Aunt Traci, Uncle David, me and Uncle Mike
Love you guys!

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I'm not really sure what my emotions were. I felt numb for most of the day, not really feeling anything. It honestly felt like just another day to me... just a little more "blah" than usual I guess. It was strange to not have my mom right by my side to celebrate with. It was strange to get ready at my grandparents house with her not being there. It was strange to go to church Sunday morning and not have her right in the pew next to me. It was strange to not be able to hug her and tell her "Happy Mother's Day!" It was just a strange day all around.

But I am so thankful to have been able to spend it with family! I have been blessed with such a wonderful family!

This is my sweet Grandad who I love so much!

This is one of my favorite traditions! Grandad always buys
Jack N Jill donuts when I come to visit! And he even included
a sweet handwritten note on the box. I love my Grandad!

I also want to say THANK YOU to everyone who sent me so many sweet text messages yesterday! God has blessed me with so many great people who have showered me with a lot of love! I am very blessed.

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day

Mom, if you were here today, these are things I would tell you...

I am so thankful the Lord blessed me with you to be my Mom. He gave me the absolute best! There are so many reasons why I love you, admire you and want to be just like you.

You are so full of life and joy.
You see the best in every circumstance and encourage others to see the same.
You always count your blessings.
You make everyone feel like they are your best friend.
You point others to Jesus any chance you get.
You are a thrill-seeker!
You are a prankster and a jokester.
I love when you get tickled and can't stop laughing.
Growing up, I loved seeing you read your Bible every morning.
I love that your response to any problem is, "Have you prayed about it?"
You set a beautiful example of a wife, and I love the way you love Tony.
You are the greatest G-ma, and I love the way you love your grandchildren.

These are the things I have loved doing with you:

I love getting pedicures together.
I love working together.
I love eating lunch with you everyday.
I love taking road trips together.
I love listening to worship music together.
I love listening to Michael Buble while we re-paint rooms in the house.
I love going on walks together.
I love picking up Hudson from Mother's Day out and walking across the street to get him a cup of ice.
I love going to see all the youth girls in their prom dresses together.
I love laughing together.
I love playing in the snow together.
I love sitting in silence together.
I love watching HGTV and TLC together.
Even though I hated gardening, I love going to Garden City with you to buy plants.
I love running errands with you.

Mom, it doesn't matter what we are doing together, I simply love being with you.

I love that I look so much like you! (even though we've always struggled to see that for ourselves). I love that we have the exact same feet and hitchhikers thumbs.

Mom, I can never put into words how much you mean to me. Thank you for setting such a beautiful example for me to follow. You truly embody the Proverbs 31 woman. I want to love my husband the way you have loved Tony. I want to mother my children the way you have for me and Bryan. I hope to have the same relationship with my daughter that you and I have had. I pray she loves me and looks up to me the way I have looked up to you.

Mom, even though you aren't here with us today, know that you are still being celebrated and cherished. I know that ultimately you are having the best Mother's Day today as you get to walk with Jesus side-by-side, fully healed and whole in His presence.

Oh Mom, I miss you and love you so much. Know that I am sending you all my love and hugs.

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, Mom
How much I love you
You'll always be
My sunshine today

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I miss you and love you with all my heart!

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Friday, May 9, 2014

Going on Some Trips!

I'm really excited about the upcoming week and a half! I'm going on two trips!

Today, I am flying out to go to Abilene, TX. I was supposed to leave yesterday, but my flight got cancelled due to rain, which was a bummer. But I'm thankful I could get it rescheduled to today. I'm looking forward to this trip for many reasons...

1. I get to go see my Mom's parents!
2. I will hopefully get to see my Dad's parents!
3. I will be attending a women's brunch at my grandparent's church. The theme is all about JOY, which many of you know it has been a battle for joy over the past 4 months... well really over the past year at least.

Although there are many reasons that I am looking forward to this trip, honestly, there is also some fear and anxiety trailing right behind. This will be my first trip to Abilene without my Mom. This is where my mom grew up. This is her town. Her people. Her family. Her friends. Her church. Her home. Everything will scream reminders of her. Everyone will know me because they knew her. I am Janet's daughter. That's how people know me. But Janet is no longer here. It's just me now. My mom would always introduce me (and re-introduce me every time we visited because I have a terrible memory) to people. I would always just stay by her and hang in her shadow. She was my comfort. My security blanket. I felt safe with her. Not that I won't feel safe. But these people are her people, her friends. How strange it will be being there without her.

And then Mother's Day is this weekend. The day I have been dreading for 4 months now. I won't linger on this too long. I am really thankful that I will be in Abilene this weekend with my grandparents and my Aunt Traci and Uncle David. With the people who are mourning the same loss that I am. Please pray for extra comfort and grace this weekend!

Soon after my trip this weekend, David and I will be going to the beach together in Destin, FL for a few days! I am so super excited to get away with him and soak up the sun and enjoy the ocean. You better believe you'll be hearing an update on that afterwards!

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Friday, May 2, 2014

Some Updates and a Facelift!

Wow, so I've really been awful about updating lately! But honestly, I think that's a good sign. I really don't have a whole lot to update on when it comes to how I'm progressing through all my emotions and such. Pretty much the same as my last post. Daily life still feels pretty normal for the most part, although it's still strange to say or even think that life could feel "normal" without my best friend here with me. But I am thankful for the times that feel "normal" and I know she would want me to feel "normal" again.

Okay so actually I have two updates!

1. You've probably noticed already my blog got a facelift! An old friend of mine who I met back in junior high when we were on dance team together (ha, yes, dance team in my most awkward phase of life) designed this for me! And she did such a wonderful job! I couldn't be happier with the new look! Thanks Mickelle! 10,000 thumbs up!

2. Okay so this is big! This past Sunday, my husband surrendered his life to the ministry! I am so incredibly proud of him and so excited to see where the Lord takes us on this journey! And can I just be a little mushy for a second?? Seeing him in a ministry role with students is how I initially fell head over heels for this guy. He came and interned at our church back in the summer of 2011, and as I "observed" him over the summer, I was totally 100% smitten with him before we ever started dating. You can read a little more about our love story here. I'm so excited to see him going into full-time ministry at some point in (hopefully) the near future. I have no doubt that as he depends on the Lord's leadership and strength, he will do a fantastic job!

Okay I think that's it for now!

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."