Well, I didn't do a very good job of "staying in today" when I wrote my last post as I struggled through the emotions of reality setting in. But I realize it's all part of the grieving process, and I am thankful to know that God knows my frame and remembers that I am dust (Ps. 103:14) when I have days like that.
I read this verse on Thursday, and I love it:
"You who have made me see many
troubles and calamities
will revive me again;
from the depths of the earth
you will bring me up again.
You will increase my greatness
and comfort me again."
Psalm 71:20-21
The Psalms are so good. I've buried myself in them these past couple of months. So many of the emotions I am experiencing, David (author of most of the Psalms) so eloquently puts into words, and he claims such beautiful promises and truth. He will revive me again. He will bring me up again. He will comfort me again. It just doesn't get much better than that!
Here's a look at the past couple of days...
David surprised me on Thursday night, and we went and watched a symphony at the U of A. I've always wanted to see a symphony! It was a fun night night out with my love.
We celebrated Tony's birthday yesterday. Honestly, it could have been a totally crappy day - but we did our best to make it a good one. David and I went over to Tony's house around 11am and brought him his favorite birthday cake for a late breakfast - Tony is a rare breed who loves his dessert for breakfast, and heck, it's his birthday so he can do what he wants! His mom used to always make him this cake for his birthday, but she is now in the nursing home, so I decided to give the recipe a try. I was a little nervous about it because Grandma's cooking has always been pretty darn good, but thankfully, I think it turned out to be a success!
Devil's food cake with the yummiest fluffy white homemade icing!
Delicious, if I do say so myself!
Bryan and Jenna and the boys came over for dinner last night. Jenna and I prepared my mom's famous brisket meal for Tony's birthday. Every Sunday our family gathered for lunch after church, and my mom made brisket, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, green beans and rolls - some downright good home cooking right there - and she was the best at all of it! So again, it was a little intimidating to tackle such a meal - we had some big shoes to fill. But Jenna and I high-fived as we dug into our plates and realized we had almost hit the nail right on the head. We made a great team!
The cooks! I love my sister-in-law so much and am so thankful
to have this friend by my side through all of these hard times.
Mom's famous brisket meal. We think she was up in heaven watching us cook and probably laughing at all the silly questions we had and wished we could have asked her. She always made things look so simple!
Jenna, Bryan, me and Tony (David took the picture for us)
Me and the birthday guy! Happy Birthday Tony!
Hudson helped Tony open all of his gifts. Here they are
opening an old picture of G-ma and G-pa.
We gave Tony lots of old pictures of him and my
mom to place around the house and his office.
At this point, I would like to take a moment to ask for you to pray for Tony's assistant Staci. Staci and Tony have worked together for over 10 years, and yesterday morning (on Tony's birthday), Staci lost her precious momma. They were very close, as were me and my mom, and my heart goes out to her as I am all too familiar with the feelings Staci now faces. Please pray for the comfort, grace and strength that only God can give. I also ask that you would pray for them as they both juggle going back to work and dealing with the emotions of losing the one's they loved so dearly.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I have got to remember to stay in today. I love this passage from Matthew 6, from Jesus' mouth himself:
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on... Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?... Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
If my God cares for the birds of the air and gives them everything they need, I should know that He will take care of me and give me exactly what I need. I love how that passage ends with the words, "Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" - a perfect segue to the promise we see in 2 Corinthians 12:9 - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." His grace is sufficient for today. Remember this, Jordan. His grace is sufficient for you today. Only stay in today.
"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."
Keep those blogs coming - they tell me what to pray for. You are so right - the Psalms are from David - a man who experienced deep lows and highs. What a gift we have in them. It's nice to read that you all stay so connected with Tony, and he needs you all. You are a gift from God to him. When we are born into a Christian community, a family that loves the Lord and friends that pray for us - how absolutely wonderful. I still miss my Mom after 9 years, but I strive to be like her. She was my mentor and your mom was yours. Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteAll the support we have had around us is truly a blessing. Thank you for your prayers!
DeleteAnother lovely post Jordan! Your Mom would be so pleased that you and Jenna honored Tony with a birthday meal cooked by the two of you and his favorite cake. How very sweet and I know it meant so much to him and it was therapy for you all as you remembered your Mom in the process. God's richest blessings as you continue on this grieving process.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. Tony took some leftovers to his mom in the nursing home, and she said we passed with flying colors! (and she's a pretty tough one to please)... We had a great time together :)
DeleteMy family is not grieving the loss of a loved one, but we are grieving through a very troubling situation, and I too have to remember to stay in today. Blessing to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gail. Trusting that the Lord will give you the grace your family needs for each and every moment.
DeleteI am a 43 year old single mother with grown kids from Rogers. My doctor, during an annual exam, found a mass in my uterus. I have an ultrasound this Tuesday. Thank you in advance and God bless. Kathy Reynolds
ReplyDeleteKathy, I prayed for you this morning as I drove in my car and will continue to pray as you come to mind. I'm so sorry for this scary time. Praying God's comfort, grace and strength for you.
DeleteThank you for this post & for continuing to share your heart. I'm in a very similar situation with my dad right now (he doesn't have cancer but his health is quickly deteriorating). I've had a very hard day & it was very uplifting to be able to come & read your words. I'm relaxing in the tub & am getting ready to spend some time in the Word.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Treasure every moment with him and spend as much time as you can right by his side. Tell him everything you've ever wanted to tell him. Don't be afraid to let him see you cry. He knows you are hurting during this time and he still wants to be your daddy. Love him with all you've got during this precious time. You won't regret a single second of it.
DeleteJordan,
ReplyDeleteGod and your Mamma absolutely shine thru each.one.of.your.posts!!!
Thank you for sharing your heart; from such a personal, deep, sensitive part of your heart. God will redeem the end results of the past 2/3 year battle. I believe this with all my heart. (I have seen it first hand in my own life .) One moment at a time.
Reese
Thank you so much, Reese :)
Delete