At What Cost?

Let me start this post by saying...

I am no better than the homosexual, the murderer, the adultress, the "worst of the worst." The only difference between me and these I have listed is that I have chosen to accept God's free gift of grace. I am a sinner. My nature is bent toward rebellion. I need Jesus. I need Him, and I have surrendered my life to His Lordship. He is my Savior, and He is my Lord. Without Him, I am nothing. Without His gift of grace, I myself would be condemned to hell.

Please read on.

As I scrolled through my newsfeed on Facebook today, I was very saddened to read posts of responses to gay marriage being legalized in our country. But my sadness is toward one very specific group of people - Christians who are supportive and happy about the direction of our nation.

What I'm going to say here will make many very angry with me. But I can no longer stay silent on this issue.

Christians, what we are dealing with here is so much bigger than same-sex marriage.

Here's the thing... This earth is temporary, and along with it, every earthly happiness. I understand that we want to see people be happy, but at what cost?

1. Homosexuality is sin.
Romans 1:26-28 "For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done."

2. Christians cannot continue in a lifestyle of sin.
1 John 3:6 "No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him."

How can we, as Christians, applaud our government on this decision to legalize same-sex marriage? According to Scripture, one who keeps on sinning, walking in a lifestyle of sin, has neither seen Jesus or known Him. Therefore, someone who chooses to enter into marriage with someone of the same sex is choosing to enter into a lifestyle of sin.

Therefore, this person does not know Jesus and will be condemned to an eternity in hell.

Many will cry "HATE SPEECH" at that sentence. No. That is "Truth speech" and I say it with all the love of Jesus I can. My heart is broken over this.

Listen, I want people to be happy, too, but not at the cost of eternity.

 My brothers and sisters, that is what we are dealing with here. The eternity of souls. Earthly, temporary happiness fades in comparison.

I sin every single day. Since becoming a mother, I have seen my own depravity in a whole new light. I struggle with sin. If I chose to give into sin and experienced no conviction over it, but sinned with a carefree attitude all my life, this would be evidence that I have never seen Jesus, nor do I know Him, and I would be condemned to an eternity in hell myself.

Homosexuality is not the only "lifestyle of sin" that condemns the soul to hell. This "lifestyle of sin" can take many different forms. The key here all goes back to 1 John 3:6. Christians cannot continue in sin - whether that be homosexuality, idolatry, greed, pride, etc.

Christians, I ask that you would reconsider your stance on this issue. Please realize it is so much bigger than temporary happiness on this temporary earth.

I realize the world hates Christians for this hard message. But remember the words of Jesus: "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." John 15:18-19

I end with this...

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." John 3:16-17

The world gets the words to those verses mixed up. I think they read it this way...

"For God did not send his Son into the world to save the world, but in order that the world might be condemned through him."

Jesus did not come to condemn the world. He came that we may have life and have it abundantly.

Although this is a difficult message and a sad day in America, I still say...

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

My Desperate Need for Jesus

Motherhood is hard.

If you could tie a ball and chain to each of those words and toss them into the bottom of the ocean, it still wouldn't adequately express the weight of that sentence.

And then add on top of that the phrase "life is hard."

Sheesh.

I keep learning the same lesson over and over and over again lately. I find myself saying, "Oh man, this is harder than I thought it was going to be," or "this is taking longer than I thought it was going to."

I've said those things in the context of some very minor things like...
Packing up the house.
How long it was going to take to make dinner.
Getting things together to go on a short kayak trip (that didn't end up happening).
Moving a set of lockers into Hank's room.
Ugh, the list goes on...

I tend to expect that things are going to be easy. And because of that, when things are harder than I expect, I get angry, I give up, and I quit. It's an embarrassingly childish trait that I possess.

When it comes to small things like trying to learn calligraphy (as a "lefty") or signing up for Netflix, it's not really a huge deal. But when it comes to life and motherhood... yeah... that's a whole different story.

Yesterday I wanted to throw in the towel.

The problem is... You can't quit life. And you can't quit being a mom.

I did "quit" in my own way though. I chose to boycott happiness and hope. I pouted. All day. I didn't do any housework. I sat on my booty any chance I got. And I drank a lot of coffee. Let's just say yesterday was one to forget.

In these past 5 and a half months, I've seen a side of myself I never knew existed. I won't go into the details because it's quite humiliating. Humiliating. Yes. Motherhood is the most humbling thing I've ever experienced. I used to think I was a pretty "good person".... After being a mom and not sleeping for 5 and half months, I've seen otherwise.

I now see my desperate need for Jesus and His grace.

I see how broken I am. I see how weak I am. I see my insufficiency to love unconditionally, and in the midst of that, I have a hard time comprehending His unconditional love for me.

I missed my mom deeply yesterday. I wanted to ask her what it was like when she first became a mom. Did she have melt downs like I do? Did she walk into the bathroom and scream into a towel at the top of her lungs like I've done? I can't imagine her doing those things. She seemed to me to be a walking picture of peace and grace. Oh I wish I could call her and just hear her voice.

I hate that I sound like Pessimistic Patty here. I'm really okay. Life is good. But life is also hard. That's just where I'm at right now. I love my son, and I love being his momma. He really does bring me so much joy, but he also brings out a side of me that I wish didn't exist. It's crazy how those two things can go hand-in-hand.

I really just need Jesus. Every moment of every day. I realize that more than ever now.

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."