12 Weeks and a Blessing

Can I just say I am so glad that my pregnancy is no longer a secret?! It is so nice to be able to openly talk about it with whomever I please!

I will share soon about how we revealed our secret to the students at camp. It was so fun!

So today I am officially 12 weeks, and baby is the size of a plum! Woohoo!

We had our first appointment about a week ago, and got to hear our sweet baby's heartbeat, and we even got a free ultrasound! It was such a blessing!

Baby Street at 10 1/2 weeks
Sucking his/her thumb!

We took our students to camp this past week, and I am so thankful I felt great all week! The food was, um, edible... And it was a little humorous to see how many different meats they could put on a bun and make a meal out of it. But other than the food, I feel like the Lord gave me lots of grace and energy to do what I needed to do.

This was our first camp without my mom. Her absence was so evident to me, and the hole in my heart was massive. I missed being able to hold her hand and hug her while singing praises to our Savior - that is one of my favorite pastimes with my momma.

The Lord also blessed me in a mighty way this week through her absence. First you need to understand that when my Mom was around, I clung to her side and followed her around like a little baby duckling. I let her take the lead in everything. I literally hid in her shadow, and I loved it. But now I can't do that anymore. And as much as I miss being able to that, and as much as I obviously miss her with every ounce of my being, I am also so thankful for this new blessing I have discovered...

It is the blessing of being so deeply and tangibly loved by my Father in heaven through His people here on earth. There was one day in particular while at camp when I saw this most evidently. Some of the adult leaders had gathered in the worship center during free time to pray over the room and the chairs that would soon be filled by students. As I began to try and pray, my heart was overwhelmed with brokenness. You see, I still struggle with so many different emotions - ranging from anger and frustration about my mom being gone, all the way to joy, thankfulness and excitement about this new life growing inside of me - too many emotions for this hormonal pregnant girl to handle. I talked to husband for a little bit and he prayed over me. And then I approached Jenny, a long-time family friend and a woman I look up to and admire. She also lost her mom around the same age as me. As I walked toward her, I couldn't hold back my tears. I just walked up and asked her to please pray for me. She wrapped her arms around me and prayed and we hugged and cried together. As the other adults finished praying around the room, they came over to us and I cried some more and hugged them.

It was such a sweet moment of release for me. To allow these women to see my brokenness and to experience their love toward me. It's a fellowship and a bond that wouldn't be formed under any other circumstance. I love these ladies so much - Jenny, Kristy, Dawn and Robyn - thank you for loving Jesus the way that you do, and thank you for loving me and supporting me and walking with me through such a difficult time. I am thankful for your friendship and for the bond that grew deeper at camp this week.

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."