Friday, March 21, 2014

March Update

I thought I was going to blog a ton this month! Well..... Looks like I've done just the opposite, which I think is actually good for me. I've tried to allow my mind to rest and soak in the things I have been learning.

I have continued to exercise consistently this month, and I've really enjoyed it. Zumba has been my favorite part by far! I never knew a day would come that I actually enjoy going to the gym!

I have continued to listen to a lot of John Piper sermons during my free time. I think this has been the best thing for me. If you are walking through a season of grief, or if you know someone who is, I would highly recommend the following sermons by John Piper:

Today's Mercies for Today's Troubles
This one is actually really great for anyone! If you find yourself worrying a lot about tomorrow... THIS ONE IS FOR YOU - regardless if you are grieving or not. Please check it out!

Called to Suffer and Rejoice
There are four sermons in this series. For some reason I have only listened to the first two so far, but I am going to listen to the rest very soon. I give this one two enthusiastic thumbs up!

Do Not Lose Heart
This is probably one of my favorites! Just listen to it already!

Job: Five Sermons on Suffering
LOVE this one! If you don't want to listen to all five, I would beg you to at least check out the first two! Awesome!

So besides working out and listening to John Piper, I haven't done a whole lot worth mentioning...  I have cooked a little bit more than usual I guess. I am actually using Emeals right now and will be posting about it soon, so be on the lookout for that!

We visited David's family this past weekend and had a really great time! We hadn't been back to his hometown since before Thanksgiving, and the visit was long overdue. I was so thankful and very blessed by our time there. He has four older sisters and four nieces and nephews which makes for a very full and noisy house, but it truly is a lot of fun! We played croquet, pickle ball, skittles (a new game I had never heard of which involves a lot of frantic running around the pool table - very fun) and a slew of board games. I also got a lesson on some new painting techniques on using Annie Sloan chalk paint (which if you are into refinishing furniture much, you've got to check this paint out! I think I will have to post about it at some point - it's nothing short of awesome!) So yeah, it was a great weekend! I really enjoyed getting to spend more time with David's family!

March is quickly coming to a close, and I have very mixed emotions. I don't even know what all I'm feeling. But I do feel anxious. I don't want to feel anxious, but I just do. There have been days that I have felt refreshed and joyful this month, but now I feel like anxiousness is beginning to overshadow some of my progress. I still need lots of prayer. I am so thankful and grateful beyond words for all the prayers that have been lifted up on my behalf this month. I do know that God is doing a work in my heart, but I still have such a long way to go.

We aren't even three months out from Mom's home-going. Part of me feels like it has been forever and that I should be "okay" by now. But at the same time, hardly any time has passed at all and my heart is still so broken and grieved. I still have a gaping wound. I miss her more now than ever. Her absence is so real and so thick. There is no one like her on this earth. No arms that feel quite like hers felt around me. No hands that feel just like hers. No voice that soothes and calms like hers. I want to hear her call me her "little girl" again...


"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

5 comments:

  1. Hello, I've been reading along on your journey through grief. I want to thank you for the information you've shared. I just lost my sweet daddy to liver cancer last week. Nothing prepares you for that loss. I don't care how prepared you are, if takes your breath away; literally, I find myself having a hard time taking a deep breath. I honestly don't know how I would have survived this week if not for my faith. Memories and friends help, but at the end of the day, when I am alone with my thoughts, I feel raw. I've heard it said many times, that grief is not a sign of weakness, but rather the price we pay for love. Thank you again for being brave enough to share your feelings and most importantly, thank you for sharing your mom. I'll be praying for you, and thanking God for our sweet parents.

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    1. Yes, Deb! My mom passed from cancer two years ago (February, 2012.) Four months later, I realized I had not taken a good, deep breath until I entered the beach house we all shared each year on vacation. I walked in the door and took a deep breath for the first time since she had passed. I will pray for you as you walk this road.

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    2. Deb, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hate cancer more than words could ever express. I love what you said about grief - it really is the price we pay for love. I pray that God comforts you and is nearer than ever before. I pray that you feel Him so close and that you will experience Him in a new way through this season.

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  2. That picture is a blog post and a testimony in itself. Beautiful! Prayers for your continued healing. God is using your grief to help others and you will see fruit ~ I am believing that. Keep writing~ when you're up to it. Your mom is so proud of you. :)

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    1. Thank you, Penny! And yes, the picture speaks so many words in itself - a perfect description of my relationship with my sweet momma!

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