I feel like the Lord gave me a revelation today about one reason why my mom isn't here anymore. It doesn't make it any easier knowing this one reason, but it does help put things into perspective.
As Christians, we aren't promised an easy life. We aren't promised a life free from trouble and heartache. We aren't promised that everything is going to turn out the way we once imagined or hoped it would.
Jesus says in John 16:33, "In the world you will have tribulation."
James tell us to count it all joy when we meet trials. Not if we meet trials, but when.
1 Thessalonians tells us that we do not grieve in the same way the world grieves. We grieve differently because we have hope. But the key I want to point out here is that we will grieve. Hardship will come, and we will grieve.
Jesus never said that following Him would be easy. In fact, He was pretty clear when He said, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Take up his cross... take up this instrument of pain and suffering... and follow me.
If my mom were still here, life would be a heck of a lot easier.
I, and the rest of my family, depended on my mom in so many ways.
We depended on her strength.
We depended on her optimism.
We depended on her faith.
We depended on her laughter.
We depended on her wisdom.
We depended on her "mom knowledge."
We depended on her joy in the hard times.
We depended on her companionship.
We depended on her love.
We depended on her reassurance.
We depended on her prayers.
We depended on her friendship.
We depended on her courage.
We depended on her humor.
I could go on, but simply put...
We depended on her.
With her gone,
I've had to find a new source of strength, a new source of optimism, a new source of faith, of laughter and of wisdom.
I've had to seek "mom knowledge" from other moms.
I've had to find joy in my Savior.
I've had to find all these things elsewhere.
I've had to dig really deep.
I've had to cry countless tears.
I've had to throw things.
I've had to scream.
I've had to question, and I've had to wrestle.
I've had to walk through the darkest season of my life.
All without the one person I depended on most deeply.
If she was still here, I would still be depending on her and life would be easy.
We aren't promised easy.
We are promised HARD.
We are promised TRIALS.
We are promised TRIBULATION.
We are promised SUFFERING.
WE ARE PROMISED GRACE.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
I am living in His promises.
This life is only temporary. Praise God it is only temporary! I am so encouraged to know that I will see my Momma again. But until then, I want to live this life well. I don't want to feel like I have been wronged because she isn't here with me anymore. I haven't been wronged. I'm simply living what I have been promised as a follower of Christ.
In the midst of suffering, we have been given a megaphone for His glory. When a Christian still praises God and rejoices in sorrow, it makes no sense to the world, but it proves, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that we have a hope that transcends this temporary life. No matter how "unfair" this life may appear to be, we cannot be wronged. We have our eyes set on the joy that is laid before us.
I still miss her with every ounce of my being. My heart still skips a beat when I unexpectedly stumble upon an old picture of her. Sometimes I still have to remind myself that she is really gone, that all this has really happened. I'm still sad, but my joy is not stolen.
I'm simply learning a new perspective...
Brothers and sisters, remember, we aren't promised easy.
|This picture came up on my Timehop app today.|
Wish I could go back and enjoy this moment with her!
"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."